That's how long we had him for.  5 whole hours.

After I wrote that last post or actually, thinking back, probably as I was writing it - I had a plan hatching in my little brain.  Having been out with a boy for three years who always encouraged me to do anything (Not that!) I took his advice and thought...There's nothing to lose.

When I met Rhys Darby at Spank he had done his amazing stand up and at the end of it he said 'I'm back here in the UK for a couple of monthes, maybe I'll see you around' .  The small plan that was then hatching in my head was 'Why not ask him to be in one of your shows?'  I knew that the worst that could happen is he could just say no and the fact that I desperatly wanted my sister to see him was reason enough to just ask him.

Stage one:  I found his Myspace page.  On Myspace you can see when people last logged on and his had been that day which meant he was still checking in regularly.  I'm telling you this because it's like a freaking graveyard out there - everybody has disappeared to facebook - or Facefuck or stalkbook as I like to affectionately name it.  He replied to people's comments and left regular blogs - Check it out here.  I added him as a friend and by Monday morning he had replied. Stage one complete.

Stage two:  Ask him to be a part of your show.  I sent a message.  This is what I wrote:

From: me, him and them
Date: Apr 7, 2008 4:54 AM


Hey Rhys,

Thank you so much for being our myspace friend and like I said before, we saw you at Spank last night and thought you were brilliant. I'd never seen your stand up before but found it so refreshing and original and well just great!

Anyway, you said you were here in the UK for a couple of monthes and so I thought, there's no harm in asking...We run our own comedy night, 'me, him and them', which is also on at Lowdown at the Albany and I was wondering if you wanted to come and be a part of it one evening?

We're on the second Tuesday of every month and, very much like Spank, we have different guests on each month performing characters, sketches and stand up. Having seen your work on Friday, I just know that you would go down a treat at our night and everyone would love it!

We have slots avaible for our May show - Tuesday 13th or our June show - Tuesday 10th June. It's quite a tame night but it's always a great, quite large crowd and is always over by 10pm (It is a school night after all!) but if you wanted to come do 20 minutes or so that would be really great.

Please don't worry if you're too busy or you simply don't want to. You've probably got loats on at the moment but I just enjoyed your stand up so much that I thought I would at least ask.
Hope everything is going well and hope to hear from you soon.

Many Thanks 

 The title of the piece had been 'No harm in asking'.  I tried to tell no one except weeman, so as not to jinx it.  I waited.  That night I got a reply:

Stage three:

Hi

Unfortunately Rhys is over here doing a film and will be based in Dorset in May and June so won't be able to make your gig. He is gigging this week in the build up to recording at the store next Monday, but apart from that is pretty busy on the film. If you have a slot tomorrow he may be able to do it, otherwise not possible, sorry.

Best Wishes

Mrs Darby

(Mr is at studio so not answering his own mail)

Oh I was so excited that she had replied to me and although it meant he wasn't going to be able to be a part of my night I just loved the fact that she had replied.  She replied!!!  I wrote back saying, what a shame because we were fully booked (The show was the next evening after all) but thank you so much for getting back to me.  I rang Sister with massive laugh who told me I was a fool!

WHAT!  She said, 'Get him in anyway, cut somebody, over run - Hollywood has asked to be a part of your night, you freaking fool!'  It's too late, I said and left it at that.....BUT....it was always there at the back of my mind.  'America's next top model' came and went at 9pm, I scribbled down times within the show, cut my own piece out - Who else could I move, cut, kick out..Could I get him in?  No, I'd already said no!

I went to bed.

A once in a lifetime opportunity was passing me by and I was going to bed with regrets.  WELL!!  I never like to see an opportunity pass me by. 

'GOT OUT OF BED AND GO SEND HIM A MESSAGE'...I whispered to myself.
Stage four:
At 12.30am I crept down the stairs and composed a message to him.  Luckily for me, he hadn't read the last one!  I was onto something, I could smell it.


Hey Mrs. D,

On seconds thoughts, if Rhys is free tomorrow night then we would be more than happy to have him! Thinking about it, we can shuffle things about and would love to have him come do 20 mins or so?

I realise you did say it was a maybe so not too worry if he's too busy but if he does want to come down then we can pop him on at the end of the second half. The interval will be at about 9ish and he'd probably go on 9.30 - 9.45pm.

Just thought I'd give all the info, just in case. Let us know if he's up for it and hopefully we'll see him tomorrow at The Albany....No worries if not.

 I went to bed that night knowing I had done my best and I slept like a baby (I always sleep like a baby but that night I slept like a baby who was well tired)

The next day I awoke to my phone ringing - An act was pulling out! WHAT!!!!  Oh for god's sake!  When your phone rings on show day, you know it's because something's going wrong.  'Keep calm' I screamed to myself and went dowstairs to check my myspace and there it was:

From: Rhys Darby
Date: 08 Apr 2008, 11:12


Yeah, that would be great if he can do tonight. He will be with you around 9 - 9.15.

Thanks

Rosie (Mrs Darby)

 OH MY GOD!!!! I got him.  He was coming to do my show.  I rang Sister with massive laugh who whooped down the phone with me.  WE GOT HIM!

That was it, I was on a role, rearranging the show, doubting my own performance, baking and icing my buns, packing my bags and then.....my phone beeped.

At 16.15, Rosie text me - Rhys had to get up really early the next day to film a scene that needed a lot of preparation. So sorry to let you down but he won't be able to make it.
Oh the fall from above.  My heart sank.  I was leaving the house in 5 minutes and everything suddenly didn't look so rosie (pardon the pun).  I text Sister with massive laugh.  I sat on my bed and phoned The Boy who likes Marmite who said this is what happens when you get Hollywood stars involved.

Oh well. 
We move on. 
5 hours though. 
That's how long we had him for and those 5 hours of excitement, anticipation and pure joy where amazing - I'd do it all again if I had to.

Love
matt's little sister xxx